No fuckin feathers!!! There’s no fuckin way they had feathers! Thats ridiculous! I don’t give a flying fornication what some pencil-necked virgin who’s never left their lab in a protected, woke-ass bubble of a univershitty says! Sure, the Archeopteryx had feathers and shit, but that was basically a bird. Theres no way I’m ever gonna be convinced that those very elephant/hippopotamus/cattle-like creatures had fuckin feathers!
And I’m not THAT fat. Its the management at Chuck E. Cheese’s that suggested I’m too fat for their rides. I tried explaining to them that I identify as a small child (my wife always says thats my mental capacity), so therefore I should be able to ride the rides and shit, butnsince I’m actually midde-aged, I can also drink their watered down beer!.. they disagreed. So I threw a toddler-tantrum and poooed on the floor. Consequently, I am now banned for life.