Mmmmm… I disagree. Fumblesore was quite clear how dangerous it was from the get go. Dragons and merfolk. Mazes that make you nuts. I didn’t see fake Moody messing with that stuff. It wasnt even alluded to. Just the cup. It seemed he just made the cup a teleportaion device to get Harry where he needed him.
Ok. I'll be the one to say it.
“Dangerous” and “murderous” are different examples. I highly doubt the most respected wizarding school in the world allows students to just blatantly die.
Really, queen? They fart about with spells and potion making daily and any one of them could go horribly wrong at any time, the prize students flaunt the rules regularly, the guy in charge of all the animals is a doofus, regularly keeping lethal creatures on and near the grounds without permission or supervision, soul sucking monsters were posted about the school looking for one guy and they nearly killed the celebrity pupil, teachers give children time travel devices, which the headmaster knew about… shall I go on? That school should be razed to the ground and every book incinerated, every wand put into a wood chipper and every teacher there locked in some kind of suspended animation in an alternate dimension, never to return! Worst. School. Ever.
Bro the teachers know that stuff will happen lol
And Dumbledore is a god so nothing is expected to happen anyways
Dont know whats wrong with you
He cast the imperious curse on Viktor in the maze. Also remember that literally every other person in the competition is legally an adult wizard and has the knowledge to navigate this stuff easily. Harry is literally a dumbass kid so he’s constantly almost dying. Like the mermaids wouldn’t have attacked him if he only took Ron and fighting the dragon would be way easier if he had any skills at all really.
1 Like
Adults, are they? Then creep factor 5 with the Bulgarian guy going after a 14 yr old girl! Huzzah! Damn, every time I turn around, something else more fucked up is on at that place. The bit about the maze makes sense now that you say that, but it was unclear in the film itself. You’re saying if Harry took only Ron, and left the other girl to die underwater, the mer-folk would’ve left him alone? I see. That’s also horrible. Because the one contestant failed, her little sister was doomed. That’s awful. And I recall the minister of magic and others arguing in Dumbledores office about just canceling it. Should’ve done that, figured out how Harry’s name got put in the cup, cast some kinda reveal spell on every single person in the school, to see what’s what and who’s who. Then Dr Who would’ve been revealed and they could’ve put a stop to his plans. If these people are so smart, you’d think they’d have cast magical wards or something so that only actual students and teachers could get in, not imposters. This is 4 years in a row that shit hit the fan and its only gonna get worse from here. Enact some security spells, man! It’s not like they’re carrying the ring of power to the one place it can be destroyed! It can’t be THAT hard to put classes on hold, hunt down Voldemort and kill him and his followers. There aren’t that many of them. And I noticed Harry didn’t rat out blonde kids dad as a death eater either! What a dope!
John Williams sucks
Agreed. Williams is the Roy Hobbes of composing. When he dies, the world will become a sadder, darker place.
3 Likes
2 Likes
The people underwater were never in any real danger. :P I do think it’s weird that they didn’t try harder to find out who put his name in but I think everyone was under the assumption Harry was just lying and put his name in cause he wanted to be the center of attention. You’ll see the events of this movie seriously damage Harry’s credibility moving forwards.
I saw. I started the 5th one last evening. Gotta finish it, but its already much much better than Goblet.
2 Likes
Odor of the Felix is the best one so far. I enjoyed that one quite a bit. It got right to the point, got you involved in the scenario right away and cut out all the usual fiddlefaddle.
The ‘pink lady’ played a great part. You REALLY wanted those Centaurs to roast her over a spit.
Finally get some good wizard battles too (Though every one of these fools would get their asses handed to them by Gandalf the grey.). Voldemort actually seemed dangerous this time. Raph Fiennes is very convincing. I thought as much, given how good he was in Red Dragon.
Still a couple of pretty useless or dumb things though, but just a couple…
Why does Hagrid have to now have a “special”, poorly animated giant brother? That just seemed so useless to the story. Empty calories. So he picked the pink lady up for 6 seconds. Big whoop. They could’ve saved $500k and just not put him in it, given how crappy he looked anyway, and just let the Centaurs do away with the old bag. But guessing he comes into play in a more meaningful way in other movies. Hope he looks better in the future.
Ok, at this point, if dickish blonde kid isn’t expelled and stripped of all power somehow, same with his whole family, (because the secrets out that his dad is evil etc) then Ms. Rowling needs a lesson in writing, because that would be just lazy. There can’t be any good reason anyone from that family shouldn’t be locked away or, you know, off with their heads, given they’re all evil.
I love how the pink lady is “under investigation” for abusing children and being a fascist. All the kids should just show their scars.
Fun fact: Harry’s jerk uncle got his head lopped off by the Headless Horseman in Sleepy Hollow and he was the doofus terrorist that fudged the bomb in the Eifel Tower in Superman II.
Harry Bottom and the Order of the Pizzas gets 4 stars out of 5. Well done.
1 Like
In terms of a fantasy, is not so bad. But it sucks when it comes to comparing other fantasy works and movies, like Tolkien and Middle Earth movies, works and lore.
So far only 2 of the 5 I’ve completed are actually good.
Well, I’ve done it. I have finished the Harry Potter series. And I say… Meh. As in, I don’t care. I feel nothing now that it’s over. It was certainly not as bad as I’d thought it would be initially, but overall I give the entire series a 2/5 at best.
Sure, there are pros, especially as the series progressed and the budgets got better and the actors got better. On paper, it should’ve worked on every level. But it didn’t. It failed to make me feel anything at all. Well, no that’s not true. At the very very end, I felt very disappointed in the last scene, the 19 yrs later bit. I felt cheated.
Cheated that ALL of the evil characters didn’t get their due. The Malfoys walked away scott free and Draco dick-hole even gets to move on and send his kids to Pigsnorts. How is that entire family not locked in a deep, dark, enchanted dungeon for eternity or just executed outright for their crimes? How many murders are they responsible for 1st hand or at least accomplices to? Draco was trying to murder Harry even up to the end, and finally threw in with Voldemort in front of everyone. He deserves no mercy. What. The. Fudge?!?!? Complete slap in the face to the audience. Hogwash.
Cheated by the writing. And everyone please spare me the defense of the world building, we all know it’s very detailed, etc, yes, yes, blah, blah, blah… the other and the characters are so foolish and so unlikable, it’s off-putting to me. The planning of the overarching plot seems like it was made up as the author went along, as if it wasn’t planned from the start. I may be wrong. There may be a series map that Ms. Rowling has in her home etc to show the trajectory of the story from page one. And maybe she hates the films for not doing a good enough job, I don’t know. But to have an academy worth of experienced staff, several of which were personally invested in Harry’s destiny, who knew Voldemort would return one day, who knew what had to be done, but ALL failed to plan accordingly. All failed to involve every trusted instructor and continued on-site life, deceiving this boy and everyone else around them is very very poor character creation. Completely devoid of logic and reason. And the answer to every time one asks why wouldn’t a character act in a logical way, in a way so obvious to all watching is “because!” And that’s it. Just because.
For example, using Dumbledore, Snape, Hagrid and Minerva all being well aware and some intimately involved with Harry’s parents and his placement etc., by the third film, you’d think they’d set some sort of plan in motion to gather the Horcruxes (hope that’s spelled correctly) and begin to train Harry for what’s to come. Prepare him for the horrors in his future. But no. They kept him in the dark and allowed evil to flourish unencumbered and just acted like things were fine, school as usual until the 6th film, I believe. Too little, too late.
Now compare that to LOTR, the Fellowship. Upon the discovery that the ring of power MAY be in the shire, Gandalf launches into action in an attempt to discover the truth. And upon finding that the ring is the ring of power, convenes with the leaders and representatives of all trusted allies. They spill their guts on the subject and decide on a course of action. Basically for the main characters, regular life has been put on hold. No more business as usual. Everything across several kingdoms is put on high alert to the threat at hand. A plan is formed and supported by several peoples across middle earth. Now, the plan does not survive first contact, they never do. That’s one of the 1st principles of conflict. No plan survives 1st conflict with the enemy. But the heroes pull it together and we all know what happens. And along the way, there are twists, betrayals, folly among men, all the good stuff. But no character is so ineffably stupid as are the characters in Harry Potter. Harry and Co. are just kids, so they get SOME leeway, but by the opening of the 5th movie, Rowling should’ve set Harry in Dumbledores office and said, “listen, you half-assed, low-rent, would-be Merlin, let’s lay our cards on the table and get a plan together and stop Voltron for good. All ideas are on the table, no more secrets between anyone. The world’s about to end, we gotta get our shit together.”
But that’s not what happened. And that stinks. If one is going to have big reveals, fine, but you should never have who are supposed to be the wise sage-like characters be dolts or just keeping secrets for the sake of keeping them. That’s stupid.
Worst of all, the last 3 movies, I was so bored, I, who never touches his phone in a movie, checked my phone so many times, I nearly wore a hole in the screen protector. I just… didn’t care anymore. About any of it. Maybe because I knew what was coming, maybe because I had just had enough of poor characters who can’t think their way out of a paper bag. Characters who have the same magical potential as their rivals, but can’t get it together to really fight back. Maybe it’s like the dark side of the force where the evil wizards have access to abilities the good wizards don’t. Whatever the case, it put me to sleep during several of the films.
And why is there only one piss-poor contingency where Dumbledore and Snape have to die to make it happen?!? Just break the stupid wand, when Harry is old enough, examine that the horcruxes to hom and what he has to do, etc, since he won’t stay dead and why aren’t there teams of wizards out looking for the horcruxes etc to get ahead of the problem? And why is there no semblance of de-cloaking spells over Hogwarts to show everyone who enters as they really are? Could’ve avoided basically every problem that way.
Poor writing. For a series that has what I would consider unlimited potential, it was written with handcuffs on it. Very disappointing. It reminds me of old Green Lantern comics, where the wearer of the GL ring is limited only by their imagination and the only thing they make with the ring is a big boxing glove or a hammer. That’s what made GL a second tier character for decades until Geoff Johns took over writing and its what makes Haryy Potter a second or third tier fantasy world.
In comparison to LOTR and Cronicles of Narnia, Potter is a distant third. And those only have 3 movies apiece. Pirates of the Carribean is better than Potter, and the last 2 films were sime cash grabs, but they still got me to smile, instead of putting me to sleep. Literally on 3 seperate occasions. Even Shazam with only one movie is better than Potter. However, Potter IS better than the Hobbit series, as those were so poor, I will never sit through the second 2 again, which is a shame. 8 films with characters that are either boring, unlikable or disposable and no satisfaction at the end for the audience. Only emptiness.
Needless to say, I won’t be moving on to the Fantastic Beasts series. Not worth it. There is more to say, but its is late and I am tired. So I will take my leave of the Wizarding wankers of Who-gives-a-rat’s-patoot. I’d say I was correct in my original assessment.
The Harry Potter series is a series of mid-level to bitter disappointments with 2 gems to be found among the rubbish.
Like I said in the beginning,
This series ain’t a masterpiece by any stretch of the word but it is enjoyable to watch especially if you grew up with it.
3 Likes
I agree. If I had grown up with it, as I did with LOTR, He-man, the Goonies etc, I’d have a fondness for it, I’m sure, even if it has flaws. MOTU is a prime example.
Classic MOTU is beyond ridiculous, but I still hold a special place for it in my own collection. I acknowledge it has massive, canon-ball sized holes in its logic hull. I can’t defend them. The only thing I could say is, “yep. It’s goofy AF. But its still fun at its core.”
If I grew up with HP, I’d probably say the same. Maybe I should’ve stayed away, but I didn’t. And I regret it. I wish I would’ve watched the Star Wars saga again, all the way through. I mean it. Aside from Jar Jar, I can take every flaw in SW over HP any day. (Please note, I did NOT say I’d watch the MOTU live action film on a loop or anything. It’s good for a laugh or a drinking game only.) Maybe I’ll start an MOTU discussion/appreciation/poke fun at thread later.
1 Like
This review of
I slept through the potter films but vaguely recall some overarching plot about them collecting diaries and a giant death chamber in the girls bathroom. I think I tapped out at the camping filler arc. Fantastic beasts has a less boring protagonist & is less dull because fantastic beasts wacky wahoo dr who autism. except he got sideline by a crappy overarching dumbledore plot and became a side character in his own movies, so there goes that.
Harry potter world building is a joke but its good for memes. Like the Malfoy’s did nothing wrong challenging the persecution of house slytherin & dumbledore’s corrupt schooling with its rampant favoritism.