How about one based on the numerous unidentified beings of Serbian origin with malicious intent by The Bosnian Ape Society?
“At 2:11 am on December 1, 2027, your house in El Paso, Texas, will be approached by numerous unidentified beings of Serbian origin with malicious intent. The knocking is getting louder. You recognize the voices. But there is something off about them. They are telling you to let them in. Are you prepared for this situation? If not, you are already behind, and your chances of survival have drastically decreased.
Today, we will discuss how to effectively defend against home invasion. All you will need is a twelve-gauge shotgun, an M84 flashbang, Sweet Baby Ray’s barbecue sauce, and a twenty-thousand-kilogram block of solid uranium 235.”