Bible advice needed 2nd attempt

Bought both an old and new testament of the King James Bible (for shits and giggles, of course) and now I’m completely stumped on where to begin. They don’t tell you how much shit is in the fucken Bible man… So where do yall think I should start?
Also I bungled the fucken poll last time I tried doing this, so apologies in advance XD

  • Old testament
  • New testament
  • To the garbage with it

0 voters

Search for Mauro Biglino videos, apply the method of translation that he uses, and then have fun with the “most correct interpretation” of the Old Testament,

there should be english dubbed or english subbed videos of him explaining how to do it.

He applies the “literal translation” of ancient hebrew of the verses, trying to be more faithful possibile to the direct meaning, without spiritual b*llshit added by christian translators to create a monotheist religion.

But I wanna see that cos that’s what everyone reads lol
If I’m gonna understand what the ever-loving fuck is going through their little brains, I gotta read the same thing. But thanks for the suggestion, this might help me too.

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Oh, okay than definitely start with the Old Testament, you’ll have a lot of fun, lot of wired, nonsensical and contradictory stuff. Like that time that God talk to himself, and threats himself that he will die.
First time read it as a fantasy book imho. Then if you’re curious apply the “literal hebraic Biglino interpretation” and read it as an historical book, makes a bit more sense.

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Read apocalypse.
Best part of the bible honestly.
It all sounds bad ass.

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I heard on QI that there’s actually an apocalypse-scented perfume. It’s got, I believe, ‘Rod of iron, blood, ash, brimstone, sulphur, burning flesh’ and a bunch of other shit in it lol
It do be sounding rather badass.


Talking donkey is funny, Old Testament.


The damn book only gives you what the fucking church wants… SCIENCE is not considered in ANY of it.
I have questions about where Jesus came from and my science tells me that Jesus is nothing more than a fucking test tube baby from some other world in the universe.
You fucking church goers piss me off so bad because you block out the really important questions… WHAT is God?

sorry to give you the ONLY answer plausible guys…


No lies detected.

I like things that are Black and White… Why I go with science in this topic…
If we only had space travel… we to could play gods on some other world the same fucking way it was on us 2023 years ago…
We have cloning tech. (Mimic resurrections)
We have artificial insemination (Virgin Marry)
We have jets… (Chariots of fire…)

HELLO!! do you SEE what I see here?!?


Indeed, I agree on every point, wish more people would find those studies and be open to this view.

Its called ‘BLIND FAITH’ that poisons or advance in the world… Those people are unwilling and to incompetent to let it go.
For there to be true fallowers of god you HAVE TO challenge what science is capable of along with wat this POS book tells you…

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Lol I’ve never gone to chuch once in my life XD
Just cos I believe God exists doesn’t mean I worship him, and after reading the bible, I have even less reason to believe he has anyone’s best interests at heart. For all we know, he’s bat-shit crazy and life is just his idea of a prank.

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Your imagination sucks donkey dick.

You fucking scientologist.

Theres definitely other dimensions, universes, realities, ect, where shit we cant even imagine is possible.

It’s not just aliens.

But you gave a fucking boring ass explanation.

I’d rather go with the theory that aliens brought life here but dont interfere.

Jesus a test tube baby…
What meth are you on?


Uhhhh yeah bro
After reading the bible it’s clear that it’s all bullshit. That anybody interperets it as fact adds a new layer to the stupidity of the human race. God may exist, but I’m not trusting the bible on fuck-all when it comes to interpereting his work.

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Not a bad conclusion.

After all he wanted to destroy everyone when christ died.

He gets pissed when people dont listen, extremely vengeful.

He sounds human as hell to be honest.

I believe that if yaweh does exist, he’s just a human with powers. Not as omnipotent as people believe.

Lol I think I pointed this out to a Catholic friend (well, they used to be my friend XD)… if God made us in his image, it means he woulda done the same exact shit in the Garden of Eden that Adam and Eve did. Meaning he’s just one big-ass celestial hypocrite who created a tree that forced people to distinguish between ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ as he viewed them, and then penalised them for it. Does this mean that if humans hadn’t eaten the fucking apple, yall’d just think muder is fine and God would be cool with it? Like what is the logic in this shit lol
Shakespear could’ve done a better job with the bible, at least his plays had plot…

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Anyhoo continuing with my smear campaign against God, imma just condense a few glaring points into a list for simplicity’s sake:

  • If God’s son, Satan, was acting up then why did God put him in charge of his own kingdom of evil mortals to do with as he pleases? If satan didn’t torture people, and perhaps trained them into an army, he could retake heaven EZ.
  • God, while depicted as incredibly powerful, cannot canonnically be infinitely powered because he had need of rest after creating all the shit.
  • I’ve seen insane people before, and time only drives them deeper into it. I’ve also seen the elderly, and it’s fairly safe to say that, reguardless of neuron degredation, time makes people crazy as fuck. Due to the very idea of infinity being almost mind-breaking when you think about it for too long, how do we know that God and all his fellow celestials (as well as all the immortal human souls he’s made) haven’t all already gone completely insane?

I don’t think the mentally wearing down applies to them.
Like their essentially human mentally and emotionally, but not physically.

On superhuman levels.

There are people who dont go crazy cause of age.
And while not all, I’m sure if eternal youth existed, someone wouldnt lose their shit out of nowhere one day just because the passage of time.

And supposedly that is what satan is doing.
He doesn’t torture people, he absorbs their souls to become stronger.
Which honestly makes sense logically.

And going off god being male, I don’t think he would of eaten the apple.
Remember it was a female to did that.
Cause of course a woman dont listen or care.

I dont think god realized what the duck he created with women lmao.

No, it would be a gradual breakdown. Reguardless of physical limitations, the agony of existing for so fucking long will wear anything down. Knowing that there’s no end for you has to be one of the most torurous things imagineable. I don’t think many humans suffer from it because they either are too stupid to acknowledge the true nature of immortality, or they don’t view their souls as immortal and thus aren’t concerned by it. Think of it this way; if the internet just suddenly stopped getting updated, there’s only a certain amount of times you can see the same thing over and over before you eventually notice something’s wrong, then descend into boredom, delerium, madness, and finally insanity.