Bible advice needed 2nd attempt

#182

@TheAlmightyJim

Who makes His angels spirits, His ministers a flame of fire.
Psalms 104:4 NKJV

“Son of man, take up a lamentation for the king of Tyre, and say to him, ‘Thus says the Lord God: “You were the seal of perfection, Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God; Every precious stone was your covering: The sardius, topaz, and diamond, Beryl, onyx, and jasper, Sapphire, turquoise, and emerald with gold. The workmanship of your timbrels and pipes Was prepared for you on the day you were created. “You were the anointed cherub who covers; I established you; You were on the holy mountain of God; You walked back and forth in the midst of fiery stones. You were perfect in your ways from the day you were created, Till iniquity was found in you. “By the abundance of your trading You became filled with violence within, And you sinned; Therefore I cast you as a profane thing Out of the mountain of God; And I destroyed you, O covering cherub, From the midst of the fiery stones. “Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty; You corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor; I cast you to the ground, I laid you before kings, That they might gaze at you. “You defiled your sanctuaries By the multitude of your iniquities, By the iniquity of your trading; Therefore I brought fire from your midst; It devoured you, And I turned you to ashes upon the earth In the sight of all who saw you. All who knew you among the peoples are astonished at you; You have become a horror, And shall be no more forever.” ’ ”
Ezekiel 28:12‭-‬19 NKJV

“How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, You who weakened the nations! For you have said in your heart: ‘I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation On the farthest sides of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High.’ Yet you shall be brought down to Sheol, To the lowest depths of the Pit. “Those who see you will gaze at you, And consider you, saying: ‘Is this the man who made the earth tremble, Who shook kingdoms, Who made the world as a wilderness And destroyed its cities, Who did not open the house of his prisoners?’ “All the kings of the nations, All of them, sleep in glory, Everyone in his own house; But you are cast out of your grave Like an abominable branch, Like the garment of those who are slain, Thrust through with a sword, Who go down to the stones of the pit, Like a corpse trodden underfoot. You will not be joined with them in burial, Because you have destroyed your land And slain your people. The brood of evildoers shall never be named. Prepare slaughter for his children Because of the iniquity of their fathers, Lest they rise up and possess the land, And fill the face of the world with cities.”
Isaiah 14:12‭-‬21 NKJV

Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, Than to divide the spoil with the proud. He who heeds the word wisely will find good, And whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he.
Proverbs 16:18‭-‬20 NKJV

And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works.
II Corinthians 11:14‭-‬15 NKJV

And war broke out in heaven: Michael and his angels fought with the dragon; and the dragon and his angels fought, but they did not prevail, nor was a place found for them in heaven any longer. So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.
Revelation 12:7‭-‬9 NKJV

Yet Michael the archangel, in contending with the devil, when he disputed about the body of Moses, dared not bring against him a reviling accusation, but said, “The Lord rebuke you!” But these speak evil of whatever they do not know; and whatever they know naturally, like brute beasts, in these things they corrupt themselves.
Jude 1:9‭-‬10 NKJV

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#183

Can ya give me the footnotes/summary of that, lad?

Normally I’d be up to read paragraphs on end but today I’ve got a migraine.

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#184
  1. Psalms 104:4 NKJV - “Who makes His angels spirits, His ministers a flame of fire.”
  2. Ezekiel 28:12-19 NKJV - This passage describes the fall of the king of Tyre and his comparison to the anointed cherub who covers, likely a reference to Satan.
  3. Isaiah 14:12-21 NKJV - This passage describes the fall of Lucifer, who desired to exalt himself above God and was cast down to the Pit.
  4. Proverbs 16:18-20 NKJV - “Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, Than to divide the spoil with the proud. He who heeds the word wisely will find good, And whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he.”
  5. II Corinthians 11:14-15 NKJV - “And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works.”
  6. Revelation 12:7-9 NKJV - This passage describes a war in heaven between Michael and his angels and the dragon (Satan) and his angels, resulting in their expulsion from heaven.
  7. Jude 1:9-10 NKJV - This passage references the dispute between Michael and the devil over the body of Moses and warns against speaking evil of things we do not understand.

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#186

Thanks man!

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#187

Now tell it to rewrite them as if they were explained by a depressed clown with added sound effects.

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#188

Oh, silly that’s just book Mass, 1-18

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#189

Honk honk

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#190

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#191

If only. Fate has something far worse in store for us. If only humans were capable of comprehending the fact that something is incomprehensible.

So god’s letting satan stew in the misery of defeat, knowing full well what awaits him and there’s nothing he can do to stop it? God’s cruel. I don’t think it ends with satan, either. Pardon my hubris, but it’s much the same with me, and any other poor sod who begins to think through what awaits him.

See, the thing is, most of you aren’t. The only reason you tell yourselves you are is in the vain hope that you’ll get something tangible out of it when you die. To be honest, expecting something good just because you believe it’s gonna happen doesn’t make you faithful - it just makes you naiive. Nothing in this world is free, and if god’s really as cruel as he appears, there’s no reason to assume that this will change after we leave this world.

At least I don’t kid myself. I know I’m not a nice person, and if existence revolves around doing ‘good’ as we know it, then I’m going to hell (or whatever the real equivalent of it is). But as I believe in a christian-esque model of metaphysics (i.e. good place, bad place forever when you die), it would be foolish to deprive and anguish myself in this life in the service of something which never cared for me to begin with, just for a few moments of relief upon death before the insanity sets in.

Just as you corrupt yourself with your ‘faith’. Expect something for your hard work on earth, and see how god likes it.

#192

When you see people around you take the next step into the unknown, it mighr creep into your mind…I know it has with me

#193

Or once you get a diagnosis that ain’t great.

If I recall, my dad got a lot more into the religion thing when he got diagnosed with stage 3 testicular cancer, and he’s stayed with it since. I was younger when he got it, so my memory is a little fuzzy around that time.

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#194

10 Bad Ideas Endorsed by the Bible

10. God destroys a good family 'for no reason.'

"The Lord said to Satan, ‘Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one like him on the Earth, a blameless and upright man who fears God and turns away from evil. He still persists in his integrity, although you incited me against him, to destroy him for no reason.’ " (Job 2:3 New Revised Standard Bible)

9. God destroys the fetuses of those who do not worship him.

“You shall acknowledge no God but me. . . . You are destroyed, Israel. . . . The people of Samaria must bear their guilt, because they have rebelled against their God. They will fall by the sword; their little ones will be dashed to the ground, their pregnant women ripped open.” (Hosea 13:4, 9, 16 New International Version)

8. God approves the massacre of a peaceful people so one of his tribes could have a place to live.

“And in those days the tribe of the Danites was seeking a place of their own where they might settle, because they had not yet come into an inheritance among the tribes of Israel. . . . Then they said to [the priest], ‘Please inquire of God to learn whether our journey will be successful.’ The priest answered them, ‘Go in peace. Your journey has the Lord’s approval.’ . . . Then they took what Micah had made, and his priest, and went on to Laish, against a people at peace and secure. They attacked them with the sword and burned down their city. . . . The Danites rebuilt the city and settled there.” (Judges 18:1–28 NIV)

7. Babies are slaughtered and wives raped.

“See, the day of the Lord is coming — a cruel day, with wrath and fierce anger. . . . I will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty. . . . Their infants will be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses will be looted and their wives violated.” (Isaiah 13:9–16 NIV)

6. A mixed-race couple is murdered by a godly priest to keep God’s people pure.

“Just then one of the Israelites came and brought a Midianite woman into his family, in the sight of Moses and in the sight of the whole congregation of the Israelites. When Phinehas, son of Eleazar, son of Aaron the priest, saw it, he got up and left the congregation. Taking a spear in his hand, he went after the Israelite man into the tent, and pierced the two of them, the Israelite and the woman, through the belly. So the plague was stopped among the people of Israel. The Lord spoke to Moses, saying: ‘Phinehas, son of Eleazar, son of Aaron the priest, has turned back my wrath from the Israelites by manifesting such zeal among them on my behalf that in my jealousy I did not consume the Israelites. Therefore say, "I hereby grant him my covenant of peace. It shall be for him and for his descendants after him a covenant of perpetual priesthood, because he was zealous for his God, and made atonement for the Israelites.’ '” (Numbers 25:6–13 NRSV)

5. A daughter is burned as an acceptable sacrifice to God.

“And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord: ‘If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in triumph from the Ammonites will be the Lord’s, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.’ . . . When Jephthah returned to his home in Mizpah, who should come out to meet him but his daughter, dancing to the sound of timbrels! . . . After the two months, she returned to her father, and he did to her as he had vowed.” (Judges 11:30–39 NIV)

4. The cannibalistic God makes people eat human flesh.

“And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me; Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins. And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.” (Leviticus 26:27–29 King James Version)

3. God threatens rape, then takes credit for it.

“Hear and give ear; do not be haughty, for the Lord has spoken. . . . And if you say in your heart, ‘Why have these things come upon me?’ it is for the greatness of your iniquity that your skirts are lifted up, and you are violated . . . because you have forgotten me and trusted in lies. I myself will lift up your skirts over your face, and your shame will be seen.” (Jeremiah 13:15–26 NRSV)

2. God threatens sexual molestation.

“Moreover the Lord saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet: Therefore the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the Lord will discover their secret parts.” (Isaiah 3:16–17 KJV)

1. God wants you to be happy to dash babies against the rocks.

“O daughter Babylon, you devastator! Happy shall they be who pay you back what you have done to us! Happy shall they be who take your little ones and dash them against the rock!”(Psalm 137:8–9 NRSV)

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#195

7ikg18
7ikg18888×499 108 KB

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#196

Fine I’ll do it myself or better yet have ChatGPT do it for me.

(Depressed clown enters, dragging a balloon dog behind him.)

Sighs heavily. Psalms 104:4 says, “Who makes His angels spirits, His ministers a flame of fire.” (makes sad honking noise)

(puts on a sad face) And then there’s Ezekiel 28:12-19, which talks about the fall of the king of Tyre and his comparison to the anointed cherub who covers, likely a reference to Satan. (makes whimpering sound)

(drops the balloon dog) Isaiah 14:12-21 is just… depressing. It describes the fall of Lucifer, who desired to exalt himself above God and was cast down to the Pit. (makes a sobbing noise)

Proverbs 16:18-20 warns us that pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. (makes a sad trombone sound) Better to be humble with the lowly than to divide the spoil with the proud. And if you heed the word wisely, you’ll find good. (sniffles)

II Corinthians 11:14-15 is really unsettling. Satan himself transforms into an angel of light, so it’s no great thing if his ministers do the same, pretending to be ministers of righteousness. (makes a creepy laughter)

And in Revelation 12:7-9, there’s a war in heaven between Michael and his angels and the dragon (Satan) and his angels, resulting in their expulsion from heaven. (makes a defeated sigh)

Jude 1:9-10 talks about the dispute between Michael and the devil over the body of Moses and warns against speaking evil of things we do not understand. (defeated honk)

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#197

Oh, thank you kindly. I misplaced my clown-wear – I love how seamlessly those additions are incorporated :0

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#198

Ikr, it’s like an Elcor from Mass Effect saying this out loud.

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#199

I love how god threatening sexual molestation is a ‘bad idea’
Like he was in a group chat with Zeus and Odin or something, and Zeus said ‘Careful m8, fucking the mortals is a bad idea’.

#200

But shun profane and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness. And their message will spread like cancer. Hymenaeus and Philetus are of this sort, who have strayed concerning the truth, saying that the resurrection is already past; and they overthrow the faith of some.
II Timothy 2:16‭-‬18 NKJV

To add unto or remove from the Word of God would be foolishness. Nowhere does it say the Lord God is letting Satan stew. Satan knows exactly what is way before we (man) did. We also know that we are wiser only through Christ than the devil and his demons and the beasts of the field under Satan. The angels sit above us and so on in the hierarchy and The Sovereign one above all things. Living spiritually through Christ by His Holy Spirit this physical experience will lead us into being like the angels. Names written in the Book of Life never to be blotted out.

#201

You just said that. Does that make you a blasphemer? Also in several places the ‘word of god’ instructs people to rape, pillage, murder and rip foetuses out of non-christian women. To me it seems that the bible is a ‘profane and idle babbling’, especially when looking at its… erm… ‘lenience’ in terms of factual accuracy.

No you aren’t XD
Yall are fucking hateful, spiteful morons.

No it won’t, it’ll lead us directly into hell. I can think of like 3 people I know who would’ve been likely to go to heaven, and only one of them was a priest. Another was a hooker trying to get her life on track.

#203

Nowhere does it say that Satan is stewing in a soup until it is done. It is already done. Victory is already won through Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit. The devil knows he has but a short time. As far as the “bible” or God instructing something to be done was it in the Old Testament or New Testament? Old Testament life did have the Law that the Lord God put in place filled with precursors that lead into the what is predestined. New Testament life that is now for us the gentiles is prophecy fulfilled. Christ has already finished the work on the cross. Followers of Christ do not live by the law but by Grace. Law brings about condemnation and was set in place to show how much we need Him.

We also know that we are wiser only through Christ than the devil and his demons and the beasts of the field under Satan.
***Let me correct myself. Only God is wise. It is not I but Christ in me. It is only His wisdom that is eternal. Not of man.