No, you are human female and a her or she, as far as I’m concerned. It isn’t any more complicated than that. You don’t have to do anything to expect people to gender you the way you would like to be.
Second, not gendering a person, saying they, them, someone or that person. Is not an attack on your gender. It isn’t purposely misgendering you. I have no expectations when it comes to your gender and there is nothing uncomfortable about it too me, that is not true of all people, especially people who have zero experience.
I personally asked Fire to gender you correctly, not for you but for me. His response isn’t an attack on you either, he was merely telling me what his feelings were.
I asked you to apologize because what you said was wrong.
Now, you do have a choice about how you deal with it. In your shoes I’d have apologized for my overreaction and moved on. The members of the community who don’t have any issue with you or your identity would like to move on. Apologies would be the most mature thing to do but are not the only way. You can simply not pursue it, that’s a completely valid thing to do too. You could leave, but then this place loses your influence.
You can’t keep bringing it up, or attacking people. Fire has moved on, you should too.
PS. There are other fans here who are LGBTQ and non binary. I’m not going to name them but I know they are here because more than one has expressed appreciation when I do comment on any blatant bigotry I see.
It’s up to them not me if they’re as comfortable as you or not. I do hope that this place, becomes a place they don’t think they need not mention it. That would make me happy.
PPS. The only way we can change things is by being present and accounted for.
